…who knew?!

…who knew?!

So I thought I had a pretty clear understanding on babies.  Before my little girl entered the world, I read books, blogs, websites, I’m an auntie to 3 nephews and a niece, I have quite a few friends with babies… and I gotta say… after nesting, setting up the nursery, and trying to prepare as much as humanly (and insanely lol) possible, I felt pretty good and ready for what was to come!  And then she came!  Parker Mae was born March 13, 2014 at 3:52 PM (smooth and easy delivery..maybe not easy, but there was no screaming and I actually really enjoyed the whole experience) and was the most beautiful newborn I’d ever laid eyes on.  7 lbs 5 oz, 19 1/2 inches of cuteness overload.  I’m pretty sure my husband and I gazed at her for hours on end!  Of course I wanted to breastfeed.  And it went great!  …Until we switched sides (it begins!)… and then it was difficult.. as for everything else such as recoupinnng, changing diapers, being up every 2-3 hours feeding, the sleeplessness – I think I was on cloud 9 and nothing could really keep me down…except when I would try and feed on my left side (that kept me down quite often actually).  It was tough!  So I saw a lactation consultant and got a bit of a grip on it (literally! the football hold! lol) and that helped a lot.  But!  I lasted 2 weeks breastfeeding at home and then began pumping because a) I was exhausted and needed some breaks and b) it just wasn’t going that great and was more a struggle then a success.  So that’s okay!  Pumping was actually really great!  Got a stock pile going, thanks from the help of a beautiful beautiful friend (I would have been lost without her!) teaching me the ways of pumping (before her help, I was a hot mess bawling my eyes out from only pumping 1-2 oz!) but! I got the hang of it!  The thing that I didn’t get the hang of was the crying!  Blind sided by it when P was around 3 weeks old.  Every evening. Around 4-5 PM (sometimes earlier)… NON. STOP.  That’s right… colic. Didn’t see that coming.  I fell to pieces 😦 I just felt shattered, as did my husband (who was also back at work after 2 weeks!).  We tried everything.  I changed my diet to cut out anything possibly upsetting her tummy, we tried the Five S’s, music, driving around, vacuuming..anything and everything!  But after weeks (2) of this, and writing and seeing the pediatrician for anything that I could do to make this subside quicker, he suggested that we could give formula a shot and mix it half breast milk half formula (negatorrrry – did not work!)…then we tried just formula (I was crushed). All my hard work pumping the liquid gold (which felt like the majority of my day), and knowing its benefits and that I was providing her with the nutrition she needed, and the free part…  But I was desperate for my baby to be happy.  And for my husband and I to be happy.  We were all miserable.  And I felt like I couldn’t bond because I was hooked up to my pump, and when I wasn’t pumping my little was either sleeping or crying (rip my heart outtt) 😦  And only formula was still upsetting her tummy and she couldn’t go to the bathroom (jussst perfect, add another problem why dontcha?!)  😦  Then her pediatrician suggested a hypoallergenic formula, Nutramigen.  LIFE.  CHANGER.  P was 9 weeks old and, at last, I had a happy…  TRULY HAPPY, smiling, baby!  And my husband was happy, and I was BEYOND (over the moon!) happy!  I was free of a pumping schedule, my baby wasn’t crying more than half the day, I could finally leave the house without worrying about P exploding, and finally majorly enjoying my family!

And I must say overcoming colic and going through the motions and doing everything and anything I possibly could to make my baby feel better has really helped me in the long run with what more was to come.  There was crib training, and nighttime sleep training, teething!, nap training (and not falling asleep only in the swing training! lol).. there was so much more!  Who knew?!  I thought I read everything and soaked in as much as I could (Which I did, I really tried!)!  But really, you learn as you go.  And you shouldn’t feel bad (I know I did, I kicked myself all the time… because I should know everything, right?! Hah! NO!).  P and I and my husband, we all learned together and pulled together and it was a team effort!  And we rock and rolled through the motions and I must say I’m quite proud of my little family!  Parker is a dream now!  And I don’t think I’d feel this way (that she’s so easy – she’s always going to be my dream come true 🙂 she has taught me so so much) unless I had to go through that somewhat traumatizing, yet oh so educational and mind blowing experience, that we can do this.  It takes a village they say, and family is your village.  Pull together and not apart.  Because once you pull apart it makes it 10 x’s harder to pull it back together.  Communicate, listen to yourself, listen to each other, pick up on and follow cues.  Be patient!  And love the hardest you’ve ever loved and appreciate it.  At the end of the day, it’s what gets you through 🙂

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